


dear yunho, my jaejoong

by betweenjaemin



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:49:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3546677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betweenjaemin/pseuds/betweenjaemin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>jaejoong misses yunho; what can he do? </p><p>Email him of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	dear yunho, my jaejoong

❄❄❄

**o n l i n e**

 

Dear Yunho,

my sweet, sweet yunho

How are you? I’ve been well. It's been 3 months since I last write to you. I’m sorry it took so long, I was busy filming and—oh, silly me, happy new year yunho-yah! Did you spend your holidays well? Have you been eating regularly? I watch you and Changmin on TV all the time, you know. If I have nothing on, I will be on the couch with Jiji watching both of you doing variety shows. Sometimes, Yoochun and Junsu would join us as well. But they are pretty busy lately…I have not seen them for a while. Changmin is eating well, I see. Always stuffing food down his mouth. He never changes, does he? I’m pretty sure that brat Changmin forces you to give your food to him. Stop giving him your share and have some for yourself, you have to eat, too. Once my filming ends I will bake some of your favourite strawberry shortcake for you, ok? I miss you. I miss you, Yunho. Do you think we can spare some time to meet each other, maybe sometime next week? I have a break from filming. Get back to me soon, I really miss you.

Love,  
jaejoong

 

❄❄❄

 

My Jaejoong,

Happy New Year to you too! Why are your greetings so formal? Its not like we have just met each other. I spent my holidays back home; I’ve missed the air in Gwangju! Yes, I’ve been eating well. Don’t worry, jaejoong. In fact, I am worried about **_you_**. You eat way too little; I heard from Heechul-hyung that you’re not eating as much. Like you watched Changmin and I on TV, I watch you on instagram and twitter. Your cheeks are sunken in and your eyebags sure looked heavy. Are you all right? You deleted all your photos and tweets as well, did something happen again? Please tell me, let me help you lessen your burden. I am free on Wednesday. Shall we meet then? At the café by the Rainbow Bridge. The one that sells the sweetest strawberry cakes. I miss you too. I miss you so much that my heart aches.

See you next week!

Yunho-yah.

P.S: Hyung, how could you talk about me like that! Yunho-hyung willingly gave me his food; I did not asked for it! I told him to eat but he said that the food would be better enjoyed if they were in my mouth. Hyung, when are you coming over to cook for us again? I want to eat your curry. The ones around our apartments are nothing compared to yours. – Changmin.

 

❄❄❄

 

Dear Yunho,

I’m used to writing like this to you, that’s why. Wednesday is good; I’ll see you at noon.

Hello Changminnie,

I was kidding! I’ll come over when Yoochun and Junsu are free as well. The 5 of us can have a meal again; just like the good ol’ times. Don’t bully your Yunho-hyung!

With lots of love,  
jaejoong

 

❄❄❄

 

My Jaejoong

I didn’t want to let you go today. When you told me you were on one of your _stupid diets_ again, I didn’t want to let you out of my sight. I want to keep you in my embrace again, your arms around my shoulder and mine on your tiny waist. As I brushed the snow off your hair, I stared into your sadness-filled eyes. Tears welled up in mine as so do yours. I wiped them clean. “Please don’t cry baby, I love you.” I said it. I meant it. Every word. There is not a place that I will go without you. They will never leave you. Changmin, Yoochu and Junsu will never leave you. I will **never** leave you. Jaejoong-ah, 2 years would pass by in a blink of an eye. The army can never separate you from your fans and us. Have some confidence in your fans okay? Your fans would be hurt if you think that way. Your fans are important to you, aren’t they? If they have to wait an eternity for you, I’m pretty sure they will. So two years isn’t much of a problem for them. Furthermore, Yoochun is going in a couple of months after you and me next. Who knows, we might get posted to the same company! Stop worrying, you worry too much for your own good. Now go eat. I love you.

Love,  
yunho

❄

Yoochun,

Keep this a secret from Jaejoong. I need your help. Jaejoong is on one of his stupid diets **_again_**. Please keep an eye on him for me, will you? I know you are busy flying to and fro with your fanmeets, but if you could, stop by Jaejoong’s house and make sure he eats. Leave some notes around his house or have some food out on the table. If it’s something from you, he is certain to eat it. I’m sorry to be this burden on you, I cannot be there for him, I have concerts coming up in Japan, and you have to do it in my place instead. Get Junsu’s help too. It hurts me to see Jaejoong sufferring like this…

Thanks and I’ll see you soon  
yunho

 

❄❄❄

 

Yunho-hyung!

Sure, I’ll do it. It is no big deal; I stay just a couple of streets away. God, I thought he was done with those meaningless diets. He seemed perfectly fine the last I saw him in December. Sorry Yunho-hyung. I did not realise this sooner. Of course Junsu would help! He is free after he is done with recording for his new album. Don’t worry about Jaejoong-hyung, Yunho-hyung! We will take good care of him for you. Concentrate on giving your best for the tour; send my greetings to Changmin, will ya?

Hwaiting!  
Yoochun  


❄❄❄

 

Dear Yunho,

Don’t think I do not know what you’re doing. You’re asked Yoochun and Junsu for help didn’t you? You promised me not to let them know! I came home yesterday to see Junsu placing a bowl of jajangmyeon in my microwave. I managed to exploit Junsu and he told me everything. I know you are worried but please, don’t. They have schedules and deadlines to meet. And you have concerts after concerts coming up in Japan! I don’t want to trouble all of you. All of you have enough on your plates. There’s no need for me to add on to it. Yunho, I-I feel so lonely…at least now, I still have the means to contact any of you if I need. Just a few clicks of a buttons and I can hear your voices, but when in army…I have no one to talk to anymore. I’ve received my enlistment date. It’s on 31st March 2015. It’s in a month, Yunho I’m scared. I don’t want to be alone. What should I do? Yunho…

I miss you.

Love,  
Jaejoong

 

❄❄❄

 

My Jaejoong,

You left me with no choice. You’re skipping meals, even if you didn’t; you forced it out 30 minutes later. No, don’t lie to me, Yoochun heard you hurling your guts out the other day. Hell, how could I not worry? Kim Jaejoong, you do not have the rights to worry about anyone, you hear me? I’m so glad your filming has ended. Now you have no more excuse to skip meals. Eat at regular intervals and eat what Yoochun and Junsu bring for you. You have to finish them. Promise me you will finish them? Please, for me? Jaejoong, dear, we can spend sometime together before you are called for duty. I’ll be back in 2 weeks. You better look rounder than you are now.

Love,  
Yunho

❄

 

Dear Hyung,

Are you eating well? You have to eat, hyung. Eating is good for your body. You will feel better, stronger and happier. It’s true. Your mood will be better as well. Hyung, listen to me for once, okay? I am worried. Yunho-hyung is very worried about you. He puts up a strong front during our concerts, entertaing our hosts and showering Cassiopeia with love, but _alas_ , he is afterall still human. Occasionally, I would hear the sounds of sobbing bouncing off the walls of our Japan apartment into my room in the middle of the night. On the third night, I rushed into the living room when I heard the sound glass shattering. Yunho-hyung was on his knees, tears flowing out of his bloodshot eyes and red liquid trickling down his right arm, staining our snow-white carpet. Anguish engulfed his once bright face before he broke down in silence. Every so often, he let out a soft whimper that echos through the starless night. Hyung, please eat, for Yunho-hyung.

Stay healthy,  
Changmin

P.S: I added a list of restaurants that serves the best jajangmyeon, ramen, bulgogi, samgyeopsal, sushi and Chinese hotpot near your apartment. I have more, but these are the ones I remember off the top of my head. Hope they are to your liking!

 

❄❄❄

 

Junsu-ah,

Thank you for bringing delicious food over the past few weeks. Help me thank your mother, yes? Sorry for shouting at you the other day, I scared you didn’t I, especially after I threw the jajangmyeon into the trashcan. Hyung is sorry; I didn’t mean to shout at you like that. I was...feeling very, _ah_ , how do I put this into words? I was eating my heart out over loneliness. That sounds like a stupid reason, right? I haven’t been cooking recently, what do you want to eat? I’ll cook your favourite after your album is released. How does this weekend sound? By the way, I love the kimchi eomonim made!

Love,  
Jaejoong

 

❄

 

Dear Changmin,

To answer your question, yes, I’ve been eating well. Much thanks to you, but I’m probably sure that none of them can beat the ones I cooked, don’t they?

See you in a week!

Love,  
Jaejoong

❄❄❄

 

My Jaejoong,

You’re sleeping right now. Legs curled up to your chest, tucked warmly under the soft duvets. You are so beautiful, do you know that, Jaejoong-ah? Your soft hair falls perfectly, framing your perfect face. It is like as if an angel had descended from the heavens. You’re so beautiful, so mystical, and so…precious to me. Why did you do that, Jaejoong-ah? Did you think I would not realise it? Did you really expect that I didn’t see? For fuck’s sake Jaejoong, what were you thinking? I saw them. I saw the marks; the cuts seem deep. Baby, please stop… Stop hurting yourself. My heart aches when I felt the bumps of the cuts through your top. Listen to me; stop hurting yourself, okay?

Let me see your purse smile again.

I love you  
Yunho

 

❄❄❄

 

Dear Yunho,

I’m sorry, I’m sorry for what happened. I did not expect you to snatch the knife out of my hands. I stood aghast at the sight of blood dripping down your cheek. I’m sorry, this is my fault. It’s my entire fault.  I will stop. I will do anything to make you happy. Don’t leave me? Please don’t. Is your cut healing? Remember to apply the cream so as to not leave a scar on your handsome face! I will see you soon…right? My enlistment is in 10 days…

Love,  
Jaejoong

 

❄❄❄

  
My Jaejoong,

Don’t be sorry, I was too rash. All I wanted to do was to protect you from harm, _and self harm,_ for that matter. I’m glad you decided to stop. I am relived that what I said **finally** got through that thick skull of yours.  My cut is healing rather quickly, all thanks to your quick reaction and first-aid skills. To be honest, the look on your face when you saw I got cut was pretty cute. Make that face for me again, will ya? Or do I have to injure myself again to see it? Damn, I’ve become a masochist. Isn’t that your role, though? Just kidding!  Ah, is that a smile on your lips? Make sure it stays there and I do not want to see any more additional scars on your body next week!!

See you my love,  
Yunho

 

❄❄❄

 

Dear Yunho,

Thank you for spending my last night as a civilian with me. You have no idea how much you meant to me. I wish for the night to last forever.  I want to stay in your embrace, your arms enveloping me protectively. You are my refuge, my sanctuary, and my safe haven. Just like a child would feel safe in his mother’s arms, I am in yours. I woke up cying in the middle of the night, choking back tears as I watch you sleep peacefully. How many nights do I have to go through without you by my side? How many more days until I’ll be back in your warm hugs again? 2 years will fly by very fast, won’t it? I hope so. My thighs are hurting right now, no thanks to _someone_ who refuses to be below me. I’m going to miss you so much, Yunnie. This is my last letter to you, well, at least for now. I will be out on 30 th December 2016, and you on the 30th January 2017. So…I guess this is goodbye.

Love you so much, to the moon and back,  
Jaejoong

 

❄❄❄

 

**- > 01st January 2017 **

 

My Jaejoong,

When you see this, it means that you are already out of the army, how is life like being a civilian? Jaejoong ah, I’ve missed you so much. It’s only been 24 hours; I cannot imagine how terrible it will be when I go in—where I have no messgaes from you, no photos, no videos of you to entertain me in between my breaks at work. You will wait for me, won’t you? Remember to take care of yourself when I’m not there. Keep in mind to eat regulary, have enough sleep and miss me! When I am released from the army, we can go on a date again, back to our favourite café by the Rainbow Bridge. I’ll see you there; it’s a date!

I miss you,  
Yunho

 

❄❄❄

 

Dear Yunho,

Civilian life has been good so far. I missed walking along the parks, listening to the sound of leaves crunching below my feet, I missed the smell of coffee as I walk a ong the streets, I missed the sound of honking cars and busy traffic on my way to work and most importantly, I miss being with you. Yes baby, I am living pretty well, Changmin has been dropping by now and then, to check up on me. (Actually, more like forcing me to cook for him; “Hyung! I have to eat to be healthy! Didn’t you say the army serve cold and disgusting mush of food?! Can you bear to see your beloved maknae suffer? Inside the army, where there is not delici-I mean, nutritious food like yours?”) Seriously, what a brat. Good news though, 2 more weeks until you come home!

 

Love,  
Jaejoong

  


❄❄❄

 

 

**o f f l i n e**

Jaejoong stood in the shower, hot water running down his back. He reached to his right to grab the bottle of shampoo, but shaking hands knocked them down instead. He chuckles as he picked the yellow bottle up. _It’s about time_ , he thought to himself. 2 weeks passed by like a breeze. Yunho would be release from the army anytime now; all that is left is for Yunho to let him know that he is out. Jaejoong turned the faucet all the way, completely shutting off the water source.  He grabbed a towel; pat himself dry before putting on a bathrobe. _What should I wear when I see him?_ He wonders. First impression is always important. True, it’s not the first time he will be meeting Yunho, but it is aferall the first time in 2 odd years. He wanted to show Yunho that he has been and is living well, although life with Yunho present would be without a doubt, better if not the best.

“Jiji-yah! Come here.”

Jaejoong placed the grumpy cat on his laps, much to its displeasure. Any signs of resentment towards the over-loving owner dissipated as soon as said owner scratched Jiji’s favourite spot behind its ears. Just as the cat in bliss was about to fall into a slumber, he felt himself got thrown of his owner’s lap. Jiji hissed.

“Jiji! I’m sorry! I’ll be back later!” Jaejoong cried out. He ran to his wardorbe, put on the first thing he saw, and ran out the front door with his coat inside out.

  


❄❄❄

 

**o n l i n e**

 

My Jaejoong,

I’m home.

See you in an hour!  
Yunho

**Author's Note:**

> i got the idea for the story while writing a letter to jaejoong (lol, can be found on my tumblr), so i kinda wrote this on an impulse hahaha the ending sounds kinda rush though, i tried writing a nicer ending but i kept deleting what i wrote thus the weird ending. i tried my best to minimise any grammatical errors and what nots, so please excuse me if you found any mistakes :c feedbacks would be great since it's my first few times writing a fic ;~;
> 
> hope you enjoyed it ;u;


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